Lost Girl
by AddisonSp
Summary: A vulnerable teen changes Beckett's life in ways she could not imagine and teaches her the true meaning of "Home". Multiple genres here (Angst, Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Family). Rating for language and mature themes. A collaboration with the lovely Bella Paige.
1. Chapter 1

**Happy Monday all. I am starting a new story with the help of the wonderful Bella Paige. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters you recognize. **

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_"Through the wind and the rain, she stands hard as a stone. In a world that she can't rise above, but her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved."_

_**Concrete Angel. Martina McBride**_

It was a bitter cold March morning in New York City when the young girl watched her friend from behind the yellow line helplessly. _I told her not to go. I told her not to go!_ She thought helplessly, devastated at the sight of Sara, dead just a few feet away. Mia squeezed her fists, trying to suppress her rage, her fear and her grief. _She should have listened to me. I may be younger than her, but I'm not stupid,_ she thought bitterly and hopelessly to herself.

The young girl zipped her hoodie and pulled it around her to block the bitter cold. She missed her scarf and gloves, but those had been taken the first time the girls at the home tried to beat her up. They got her winter weather gear, but she'd sliced them pretty good in exchange. Mia didn't imagine she'd want her scarf now that it had the blood of some mean bitch on it anyway, even if it had belonged to her mother.

She looked back to the body of her friend. Sara had been determined to go with him last night. She was so ready to make the money he'd promised her.

_"Come on baby." He'd said with a sweet tone. "With your pretty face? All you need to do is take a few pictures. You could be a star!" He'd told her._

_Yeah, well he told me the same thing, except I don't have dumbass written all over my face. _Mia rolled her eyes, letting a sigh escape her lips. She felt guilty for thinking such things as she looked upon the body of her friend, but it was a cold-hard fact. Despite being three years older than her, Sara didn't have the common sense that Mia used.

The young girl pushed back against the feeling of remorse that threatened to slip in_, if I had gone with him maybe she'd still be here_. She had to push back against the thought_. No! If I'd gone too I'd probably be dead._ Mia wished that she could say she was surprised, but she knew better. She knew better the whole time, and now Sara was dead. _Why couldn't you have listened to me?_ She asked her friend quietly, choking back tears. Another faceless teen dead, and the only person who would miss her was a 13 year old girl that the world forgot.

Mia stayed back from the crime scene considerably, not wanting to be noticed by the police as they descended. If she'd learned anything in her 8 months on the street - it was how to dodge the cops. Keeping her head low and not drawing attention to herself, she'd been able to avoid being caught since she'd escaped the last hell-hole they tried to pass off as a home. "Haven House" they called it, Haven my ass, Mia thought to herself wryly as she continued to watch the crime scene activity unfold. Haven House would have been more accurately described as "Hell House."

What was supposed to have been a happy, healthy home for older children and teens in the system was hell on earth. None of your belongings were sacred, and the teens travelled in gangs for protection. If you swore no allegiance as Mia had refused to do, you got the hell beat out of you on a regular basis. You went to school, but the inner city options were lacking and the teachers didn't care who came and went. The fact of the matter was that Mia did better learning on her own anyhow, at least when she read it -she could know to trust in the words conveyed to her.

Haven House had been the 5th place they'd placed Mia in the 4 years since her adopted parents had been killed. After the first three families, the state had given up on trying to place the girl. The first couple - the Campbells - had been nice enough, but Ms. Campbell insisted on giving her back after just 6 months when she discovered that she was pregnant. They didn't want their own child exposed to the likes of a kid with baggage. A miracle had occurred in their pregnancy and Mia found that she was no longer a part of the family plan.

Next came Alice and Robert Meyer, who'd kept her the longest. She had her own room and was able to do her own thing. The school was great, although she really didn't make friends. Alice and Robert didn't pay her a lot of attention, so she was able to come and go as she pleased. She'd often skip school and hang out at the library and nobody would be the wiser. It was a good setup for Mia.

However, after a year - the state made the decision to remove her from the residence when a neighbour reported Alice Meyer screaming and pulling a knife on her husband. Truth be told, Mia didn't mind it. Robert Meyer may have been a cheating bastard, but at least he'd left her alone. It was more than she could say about Eric Preston.

The Prestons took Mia in next, and it was Eric Preston that changed everything. Thinking back on him filled Mia with a sense of outrage. They were supposed to be the perfect couple. Hell, he was a pastor and she a stay-at-home mom. They had three other foster children, all of them boys. They went to church every Sunday and taught their children to fear God.

She was 11 when they took her, and things seemed to be going well enough. She had her own room for the first time since before her parents died. They ate dinner together each evening, watched television in the family room. They seemed like the perfect American Family. Then Mia hit puberty, and it all changed. The first time Mr. Preston crawled into her room at night she hadn't understood what was happening. Better yet, she knew exactly what he was trying to do. She just wanted to believe that it was all in her head, that no man of God would do such a thing. That was when she learned that adults, no matter how pure their reputations - couldn't be trusted. It was the moment Mia realized she would be on her own.

The second time Eric Preston tried to put his hands on her she'd taught him a lesson with her Swiss army knife that he wouldn't soon be forgetting. It took 35 stitches to sew his wandering hand up and the teen soon found herself in a group home. What was worse was the reputation that followed her, a hardened delinquent with violent tendencies. Mia sighed to herself as she thought back on it, _I'm better off alone anyhow_.

She had a plan. She had goals and the adults that came into her life all seemed content to hold her back. The girl was indeed better off alone, she took care of herself, protected herself, and was doing a far better job than any parental figure seemed capable of.

Mia absent-mindedly toyed the Swiss army knife in the pocket of her faded hoodie as she watched the detectives, stepping back suddenly as she saw one approach. It was a tall and determined looking woman, beautiful but intimidating, someone who clearly had some sort of authority. As she passed, the teen turned her face away from the brunette. She was precisely the type of woman to be avoided, the type with enough clout to get her thrown right back into the hell hole she'd worked so hard to escape.

As soon as the detective was safely beyond her, Mia quickly made her way from the scene. No one seemed to notice or care about the young girl in the crowd. It wasn't hard to believe, as Mia had been invisible for years. Sometimes slipping through the cracks was the safest and easiest way to be, and the teen was content to remain unseen. The only one who would create the future she wanted was her, and the fewer people who got in the way the better.

Mia turned into an alley and disappeared into the cold city once more. As far as anyone was concerned, the teen was never there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers. To answer a question, I plan to update this story at least once a week. Some weeks will have multiple chapters (like this one). Special thanks again to the lovely Bella Paige :) **

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**Lost Girl Chapter 2**

"_He was my strongest weakness. I surrendered heart and soul. It's gonna be a long, long time till I regain control. I'm still a prisoner, held captive by his memory. He was my strongest weakness, and I'm afraid he'll always be."_

**My Strongest Weakness - Bonnie Raitt**

Detective Kate Beckett made her way to the crime scene, flexing her hands in attempt to increase the blood circulation to her cold fingers. March in New York was the worst, and the bitter cold did little to improve her somber mood.

As she weaved through the crowd and stepped over the yellow tape, she sighed. _He's not here_, she noted to herself in disappointment_. _She couldn't say she was surprised, but it still filled her with a bitter sense of emptiness when she realized that he would no longer come when she called. Aside from the painful squeeze of her heart, she also regretted not stopping to get herself a cup of coffee on the way to the scene. Although there were no more lattes with hearts drawn into the foam, her need for caffeine and warmth outweighed the depression she felt when she thought of coffee these days. _Damn it's cold, s_he thought.

Beckett made her to way to where Lanie kneeled, taking in the body. She was a young girl, very young. The blonde victim looked like she was younger than Alexis. She was a pretty girl, dressed in nothing but lingerie - her hair clearly bleached. She was wearing too much makeup for such a young girl. _Younger than Alexis, so innocent_. Kate sighed, compartmentalizing as necessary in preparation to do her job.

"Got an ID, Lanie?"

"No ID, but she's young." The ME commented.

"Cause of death?" Kate asked.

"Strangulation, but there's also blunt force trauma to the back of her head. Judging from the lack of blood," Lanie continued to explain. "I'd say that she was strangled and then struck on the back of her head."

"Could her head have hit something? Like during a move?" She lifted her head in surprise when she heard his voice. It sent a jolt through her heart, as always. He noted the surprise on her face and offered an explanation for his presence."Esposito called me."

She swallowed, trying not to offer any emotion. When they broke up, it ended badly - but Castle was not willing to step away. Regardless of how much he hated her now, she would never take that from him. She wouldn't deny him anything. Truth be told, Kate Beckett also couldn't deny herself the chance to see him - even if it was in a limited capacity. She loved him still and feared she always would.

Castle did most of his work shadowing Ryan and Esposito, only interacting with Beckett when the four were solving a case. He regarded her with a neutral respect, seeing her as their team leader and little else. For the first several weeks, she thought that he might soften towards her - that he might forgive her.

She knew better now. There was no forgiving her betrayal. _It would have been better if I'd cheated on him_, she reflected, _maybe we would have had a chance to recover from that._ However, she hadn't cheated on him and her betrayal - although completely unintended - had destroyed a part of them both. She spent her days trying to accept that it was over. Kate Beckett needed to find a way to move on; even if he had been her one and done. _I wasn't his_, she thought bitterly to herself once again.

She swallowed back the sudden surge of emotion, the lump in her throat becoming unbearable. Her only solace was that the air was freezing, and with a wind chill below zero, the tears in her eyes could easily be attributed to the harsh climate. _As opposed to my broken heart_, she acknowledged.

Shifting back into detective mode, Kate turned her attention to Lanie once again. "Is that possible? Could she have been killed elsewhere and moved here?" Beckett questioned.

"Because there is so little blood, I'd say that she was killed elsewhere. That head wound bled, even if it was post-mortem." Lanie explained.

Kate nodded. "Alright, have CSU sweep the area and call me when you've got something." She stood, meeting Castle's gaze for a moment. She saw the same cold, indifferent-but barely contained bitter stare. _That's his look for me now, _she thought sadly. She couldn't blame him for it either.

As Kate walked away from the crime scene, she thought back to that horrible day just over six weeks ago. It was the day she'd lost everything.

* * *

_February, 2013_

"_I'm going to do it Lanie. I'm going to tell him." She informed her best friend excitedly. It had been a difficult couple of weeks, but Kate was ready. She was ready to tell Richard Castle that their lives were about to change and that she was in it with him, 100%. _

_When Kate learned that she was pregnant, she nearly died. To say it was traumatic would have been an understatement. She'd locked herself in her apartment, unable to process the fact that she'd somehow managed to slip up with her birth control. _

_She was terrified. Afterall, she and Castle had been dating less than a year. It once again proved that things always fall apart eventually. _

"_What am I going to do, Lanie?" She'd asked her best friend, eyes puffy from crying. "I'm a cop. What's going to happen the next time I get shot? What happens when I'm not so lucky?" _

"_Kate," Lanie soothed her. "Nobody can guarantee their tomorrows. Besides, there are many cops who have families and live long lives. You can't operate under the assumption that you're going to die. You have to live!" _

_Beckett shook her head at her best friend. "You don't understand, Lanie. I know what it is like to have my mother pulled from me in a violent way. I can't bring a child into the world to have the same thing happen. What kind of person would I be? What kind of mother would I be?" She reasoned with her friend. _

"_I'll tell you what kind of mother you'll be. You'll be a fantastic mom. You'll be dedicated, fierce, protective, wise, nurturing and loving. Kate Beckett, you'll be the kind of mom your mother was to you - because that's how she raised you!" _

_Kate wiped her eyes, grabbing another Kleenex. She tried to calm herself down as Lanie continued to soothe her. _

"_Do you know how lucky this kid will be? Not only will he or she have you as a mom, but Castle for a dad. Have you looked at Alexis lately? Have you noticed how phenomenal that girl is? Who do you think is responsible for that? Regardless of how he tries to play his role down, he raised that girl. Castle is going to be a great father and you'll be in it together!" _

_Kate looked at Lanie, seriously considering her words. "And Kate, this child is going to have two parents who are more in love, more committed to each other than anything else." She reached for the detective's hand and squeezed it. _

"_This baby's got it made, sweetie. I promise you that," she actually smiled at Lanie's words, exhaling slowly as her tears subsided. She nodded, accepting Lanie's words as truth she added. _

"_Lanie, I just need some time with this. I need some time to process it and get used to the idea before I tell Castle or anybody else," the M.E smiled to her best friend, understanding that Kate did best when not rushed - when she could contemplate and reason through things. Lanie had no doubts that Kate just needed time. _

_That said, she was happy to hear that Kate had taken that time and was ready to move forward, to tell Castle the news. She had no doubt that he would be thrilled. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Richard Castle was born to be a father. _

"_So how are you going to tell him?" Lanie asked, removing her gloves and washing her hands. Their most recent victim was a middle-aged taxi driver and the cause of death was pretty straight forward, a gunshot wound to the head. _

"_I'm going to tell him over dinner tonight. I've invited him to my apartment and I'll be baking my mother's Mac and cheese. He loves it." Kate's smile was contagious, it was clear that she'd finally come around to the changes that were to come. Things were falling into place. _

"_Well, before your romantic night in with writer man, soon to be father again, you might be interested to know what I found on our vic." Lanie changed the subject, and just in time. At that very second, Castle strolled through the doors of the morgue. Two steaming hot cups in hand. _

_He passed one to Kate and kept the other for himself. "Tea, as requested."_

_Kate smiled. She found it was pretty easy to convince him that she wanted to switch to decaf, said that she thought the caffeine might have been keeping her up at night. It wasn't completely untrue, as she had been having trouble sleeping. She'd simply omitted one major detail. Soon though, soon he would find out that their lives were about to change. _

"_What did you find, Lanie?" Kate asked, glad for the timing of her best friend's change of subject. _

"_I found a receipt in his back pocket. It's for Country Inn Motel in Queens," she handed the clear plastic bag that now held the receipt over to Kate. _

"_Well, well, well. It looks like we've finally got a lead!" Kate spoke. _

_Castle smiled at his partner and lover's good mood, always grateful to see her smile. "Shall we?" He opened the door to the morgue for her, waiting as she stepped through. _

"_I want you to call me tonight, Kate Beckett!" Lanie called as they made their exit. _

"_What's tonight?" Castle wondered. _

"_Nothing for you to worry about now." She spoke, smiling at the news she was going to share with him that evening. _

…

_The next few hours of that fateful day were played again and again in Kate's head. "If only I'd told him sooner, if only I'd called for backup, if only we hadn't gone to Queens right away, if only…" _

_However, no amount of wishing would change the events that transpired. There was no way for Kate to know that their suspect would react violently. Hell, he wasn't even a suspect at the time, just a person of interest. He was just someone who might have seen something. _

_That fact didn't stop him from being unstable, and it didn't stop him from getting the drop on Kate. It didn't stop her from forgetting herself and reacting. She'd never forgive herself for chasing him down the fire escape. _

_If only. _

_If only she hadn't chased him. Then she wouldn't have overlooked the black ice on the landing that caused her to slip. She wouldn't have gone down two flights of stairs. If only Kate had thought twice, she wouldn't have lost their baby. _

Kate swallowed back tears as she thought back on that day, accelerating as she drove alone - merging into traffic on the freeway and heading back to the 12th. It was time to start another cold day, a day where she didn't have Richard Castle. Another day where the love of her life hated her.

"_He was my strongest weakness, and I'm afraid he'll always be."_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hello all. Thank you for your reviews, without spoiling the plot, I will say that you all have concerns that I would have as well pertaining to Castle's behavior. I hope you continue to enjoy this story as it develops. Again, thanks to Bella Paige for providing quick feedback! **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, other than this computer, some Castle DVDs and Mia. **_

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_"Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly._

_All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive._

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these sunken eyes and learn to see._

_All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free."_

**Blackbird-The Beatles (as well as Across the Universe)**

Mia made her way through the New York City Streets, picking up her pace as she dodged in and out of the alleyways of lower Manhattan. She knew the roads to take, and the ones to avoid. Despite initiatives to clean up this part of New York, there were still some pretty shady areas of Alphabet City and she often found sticking to Avenue A kept her away from the attention of inquiring adults. Not that there were many of them, especially on these streets.

_You gotta love New York_, she thought. It was the only city in the world where adults could encounter a 13 year old girl, alone, cold, hungry, dirty, clearly not in school and still do nothing. As far as she was concerned they could keep on looking the other way.

She loved Alphabet city. She especially loved the immigrants; they understood what it meant to live on the fringes, to be second class citizens despite their hard work. Most of all, they threw her food from time to time.

Her favorite was Raza, a middle-aged woman from Bosnia who always offered bread, caressing Mia's cheek and gazing upon her sadly. They had an unspoken agreement, _you scratch our backs and we'll scratch yours_. Every morning Mia would sweep the front of their small store, and in the winter she would shovel snow. In return they gave her delicious breads.

Grabbing the goods Raza provided, she advanced to Avenue B, made a sharp left down the alleyway just south and over to Avenue C, where she headed home. Home for Mia was an abandoned building that she shared with three other girls. It was small and dark, but it was their squat and at least that was understood. She entered the building, hands filled with brown bread and sweet bread.

"Emanuella?" She called for her shadow, "Emanuella, baby bird, I've got bread crumbs for you!" She called sweetly.

The young girl made her way down stairs, around what used to be a kitchen and through the broken-out window that served as a bypass for the giant hole in the floor between rooms. "Is it true? Did Sara die?" The young girl asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"Yeah, little bird. She did." She pulled Emanuella close, stroking her hair as she offered a piece of sweet bread. The younger girl's sadness was strong, but her hunger was stronger and she took the bread willingly.

"I heard newsman Louie talking about it this morning, but I didn't want to believe it was true." Newsman Louie was a homeless man with one leg. He was rough around the edges, but harmless. He was also a gossip.

"They got her, and that's why we have to be really careful. Do you understand?"

Mia took personal responsibility for Emanuella. Afterall, nobody else was going to do so. She was like a little sister, just 10 years old.

Emanuella's parents had been immigrants. They'd come over with nothing but their dreams and a desire to work hard. They'd instilled that value into their young daughter before they died. They hadn't lived too far from Alphabet city.

When Emmanuella was at school there was an explosion. The neighbors were meth-heads and the lab went up in flames, taking both apartments and everyone in them in one large blast. She hadn't even gone into the foster system, running away with her older sister before they had a chance to separate.

As far as she knew, Emanuella's sister was an addict, living somewhere in the city and prostituting herself for drugs. Indeed, the young girl was all alone. Her only family was Mia. Both girls startled when a flash of red hair stormed into their squat.

"I saw him! I saw him strangle her! I saw it happen and I think he saw me too!" Amber burst through the doors with panic on her face. Without asking the older girl grabbed a piece of brown bread and began to eat nervously.

"We can't stay here. I swear, he saw me. That son of a bitch killed her!" Amber was a tall, fair-skinned redhead. She was only 15, but had a full figure, looked much older than her age and used it to her advantage. Both she and Sara had worked at a local strip club, under the table of course.

Mia had been offered a job by the same people. "All you have to do is take your clothes off. They're not allowed to touch. If the cops come you get the hell out and they never heard of you." Amber had explained when she and Sara came home from their first day, a nice wad of cash in their hands.

Still, Mia declined. "I'd rather starve," she deadpanned.

Mia acknowledged that she could make a killing if she'd taken the job. Regardless of being just 13, she had a nice figure. Her tall, slender form and long light-brown hair contrasted with her striking blue eyes. Mia couldn't help that by the time she hit puberty, she was turning heads.

Still, she couldn't imagine working in such a place and didn't want to send the wrong message to Emmanuella. She wanted the younger girl to know that there were other options than a road that often led young and vulnerable girls into exploitation or prostitution.

Mia watched with a sense of trepidation as Amber shoved what little belongings she had into an old burlap sack. "I'm disappearing." She stated, throwing her jacket over her shoulder before heading back out. "And if I were you," she said, as she turned back once more, "I wouldn't want to be here when he comes looking."

Mia nodded in understanding. _Damnit to hell!_ She thought to herself, w_hy did they have to be so stupid?_ She questioned yet again. Truth be told, Mia's decision to not strip caused a bit of a divide. Amber and Sara who had "work," resented Mia and Emmanuella, who were content with just getting by, with scrounging. The younger girls were seen as some sort of burden, although Mia never asked for money. It was a conflict that she never truly understood, but to think about it now - was pointless.

Mia and Emmanuella were on their own again. Being too young to work left their days open for learning, for Mia to continue teaching Emmanuella the power of books. They read everything they could get their hands on, spending days on end at the New York Public library. It was at the library that they could access the hundreds of books that the two savored.

Mia saw those books as serving a dual purpose; they provided an escape from the harsh realities of life as well as a tool for a better future. Even if it was cliché, Mia believed that knowledge was power and that it was her weapon to wield against the world.

Books were Mia's pride and joy. Indeed, the only possession that the young girl had was an old, tattered book that she believed had been left by her birth mother. It was the only link she had with the woman who had given her up such a long time ago.

_She had a beautiful smile. _Mia thought dreamily to herself as she and Emmanuella sat on the subway, en route to the library. It was one of the only pieces of information that she had about her birth mother. She was a fan of Richard Castle, and she had a beautiful smile.

Mia pulled the old, tattered book out of her burlap sack and stared at the cover for the millionth time.

**STORM WARNING **

The photograph of the author on the back was quite dashing, and she'd done no small amount of research on him. Afterall, he was the one possible tie she had to her birth mother. Mia sighed as she opened the worn cover to re-read the words inscribed. She'd memorized them by now.

"_To Kate. You have a beautiful smile, it's a shame you don't use it more. Best Wishes, Richard Castle." _

It was simple, to the point and had been penned over 13 years ago, but it was all she had. So Mia clung to that book - her only possession, with hope that one day she would meet Richard Castle, and that he could somehow provide a clue that would finally lead her to her mother.

_"Blackbird fly. Blackbird fly. Into the light of the dark black night." _


	4. Chapter 4

"_But I still wake up, I still see your ghost._

_I'm still not sure what I stand for._

_What do I stand for? What do I stand for?_

_Most nights I don't know anymore."_

_Some Nights-Fun_

_February 4__th__, 1999._

Kate was drunk. She was miserable, but at least she was blissfully, numbly intoxicated. It had been a bad idea to go with Maddie, but the blonde figured that an impromptu road trip was exactly what Kate needed. The fact of the matter was January had been hell on earth and she needed an escape.

After her mother's funeral, Kate had done her best to hold it together. She'd been a rock for her dad, who sunk deeper and deeper into the bottle with each passing day. The result was a strained relationship and plenty of time spent anywhere but home. Home? _What the hell is that anyway?_ If Kate had a home, she supposed that it died with her mother. She wasn't sure she'd ever truly have one again.

Her desire to be away from home had only been amplified that week, as there was no way in hell she wanted to be in touch with anyone, with reality for that matter, when her mother's birthday passed on Wednesday. So Maddie - in her infinite wisdom - insisted that they make a road trip from New York to Chicago.

The blond was interning for a newly franchised restaurant and their home-base was in Chicago. She'd been given two tickets for the masquerade gala and insisted that it would provide the perfect escape for Kate. She'd resisted at first, but Maddie had thrown icing into the cake by mentioning that Richard Castle would be at the same hotel the Friday before on his book tour. So Kate agreed, taking the chance to see her favorite author.

Her mom had gotten her into Castle's books, often sending her copies of books after she was finished reading them herself. She left little notes in the margins for Kate, knowing that she would find special meaning or significance in certain paragraphs or sections. It was one of the many things she missed, but there was nothing she could do. Her mother was dead - gone. There would be no more care packages sent to her at Stanford, no more books with notes in the margins. Now there were parties. There was alcohol, and loosing herself in whatever substance she could get her hands on.

Kate didn't know if she would be going back to California anyhow. Contemporary English literature seemed meaningless now, so what was the point? She hadn't officially withdrawn, but wasn't going to her classes. Yet, she didn't seem to care. Kate kicked her legs up onto the dash board and took another swig of the bottle in her hands.

Maddie laughed and inhaled her cigarette. "Kate, you're drunk. You're illegally drinking in my car, and I'm driving on a suspended license." The blonde laughed harder. "If we get pulled over, we are SO fucked!"

Kate laughed at her friend's words, not seeming to care about the risk they were taking. She didn't care about much of anything these days. She let her long hair flow out the side window as she weaved her hand in and out of the open passenger door window as they flew down the interstate.

* * *

They waited in line for 2 hours, just to get a glimpse of the handsome author who was signing first editions of his latest novel. It was the last thing her mother ever gave her, wrapped under the Christmas tree just weeks before - back when life was good.

Kate hadn't read the book, unable to so much as open it since her mother's murder. Yet she knew that her mom would have had her own copy signed, had she lived. It felt right to be doing this, even if she wasn't nearly as big a fan of the author as her mom was. She'd never admitted it to her mom, but reading his books was more about her than him anyway. Rick Castle was ok, but it certainly didn't rank him among the greats that she'd studied for two years at Stanford.

Kate was among the last to get an autograph, as his agent stepped in and put things to a stop.

"Sorry, everyone." Said the nasal woman with too much makeup and tightly pulled back dark hair.

"The store will be closing soon and Mr. Castle has a plane to catch tonight." Upon hearing the crowd grumble and complain, the author flashed a stunning smile.

"My sincerest apologies, but my little girl is back in New York and I promised to make her favorite for dinner tonight!"

It was clear to Kate that the author knew exactly what he was doing as his words appeased the women in the crowd. They melted like putty in the palm of the handsome author, a famous single father and an eligible bachelor.

When it was her turn to meet him she was taken by surprise. She never expected to be the type of woman who would be captivated by him. His crystal blue eyes penetrated her, causing her to blush shyly. He smiled at her and she was unable to resist smiling back at first. Then he winked, prompting her to neutralize her expression. He chuckled to himself about something and spoke.

"Who do I make it out to?"

She cleared her throat nervously, brushing her long brown hair behind her ear. "To Kate … you can make it out to Kate."

He smiled again and wrote something on the inside cover before handing it back to her. "It was nice to meet you, Kate." He spoke flirtatiously.

She offered a crooked smirk and turned away quickly. Amazed by how quickly he could disarm her.

Once outside of the store, she opened the book and read.

_To Kate. You have a beautiful smile, it's a shame you don't use it more. Best Wishes, Richard Castle._

She smiled widely at the words, embarrassed by the flutter she felt. It was the first time since early January that Kate felt anything but numbness.

"He's cute," Maddie commented over Kate's shoulder as they exited the bookstore. "Too bad he's not staying in Chicago another night. I'd fuck him."

"Maddie!" Kate exclaimed, laughing with her girlfriend as they made their way down the crowded Chicago street.

"Shhhh! Oh my God, there he is!" Maddie exclaimed as she pointed to the man emerging from the side door of the bookstore. The familiar feel of butterflies filled Kate's stomach. She almost approached him again, but quickly stopped as she heard him shout.

"Damnit! What the hell were you thinking?" Richard Castle argued into his cellphone, completely unaware that he had an audience. "The point is, it isn't your right or your decision…" He paused to listen to the person on the other end of the conversation.

"I don't care if she is…When you signed that paper you lost that right. You see her because I let you, and the next time you pull shit like this without my permission-I promise it will be the last time." He quieted to listen again.

"Enough. We'll talk when I get home. I'll call from the airport to talk with her." He ended the call and put the phone in his pocket, walking swiftly in the opposite direction.

"Well, that was intense." Maddie commented. Kate simply nodded, glad that she'd thought twice about talking with him again. She simply watched as he turned the corner, catching the tension in his shoulders and the grimace on his face before he disappeared.

* * *

The music was loud and the beat was overwhelming, people were dancing and drinking, and Kate was pretty sure she saw couples having sex against the wall in the back corner of the dimly lit club. Nobody seemed to care.

Kate figured that anonymity of a masquerade party gave people the freedom to let loose. Behind the disguise of masks and costumes, people could be whomever they wanted.

She took another drink, slipping her fake ID back into her pocket.

"Hey, Millie Porter." Maddie teased her, making fun of the name on Kate's ID. It was funny how much the girl in the picture did not look like Kate. Hell, the woman in the photograph looked about 30 pounds heavier and was blonde. It wasn't ideal, but Millie Porter was 22, and nobody seemed to care anyhow.

Kate laughed at her friend, throwing her arms into the air and swinging her hips with the beat. She loved the freedom of letting go and wanted more of it desperately. Anything that could help her to not think, to not feel, was welcome.

"Want to feel good?" The blonde asked her, yelling above the music into her ear.

Kate turned to her curiously, looking down into Maddie's hand and seeing the white pill she held there. She didn't need to be told what it was. Afterall, they were at a club in downtown Chicago and people were literally having sex against the walls. She shrugged and laughed, eager to take whatever anyone would give her. Before her mom died, Kate drank and she'd even smoked pot a couple of times. She never did hard drugs though, and the lure of the feeling the freedom she heard came with doing ecstasy - called to her.

"Hell yeah!" she screamed, downing the pill dry.

* * *

She had no idea who he was really, but didn't care.

"Are you from Chicago?"

The masked man nodded. "Yeah," as he pressed Kate against the wall of the club, unbuttoning her jeans and slipping his hand into her panties. He lined her neck with hot, opened mouth kisses that set her skin on fire.

They'd been dancing for the better part of an hour and what started as flirtatious touching and grinding on the dance floor quickly escalated. She knew little about him other than that his name was Brad. In her heightened arousal and altered mental state it was more than enough.

She gasped in the pleasure of it, his hand was working wonders on her body, but she turned her head to the side to evade his kisses. She didn't want to kiss him, she wanted to screw him. _God I've never felt this turned on. I want him fuck me against the wall now, and don't care who sees!_ She thought with a new-found sense of freedom. She was on fire and wanted to lose herself in this man. He smelled good, his body was ripped and she grasped his ass tightly as he ground his pelvis against her.

Then suddenly she could smell the alcohol on his breath and it made her a bit dizzy and nauseous. In order to avoid vomiting she pushed him back. She could see the confusion on his face by the way his brow furrowed behind his mask.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked her.

"No." She insisted, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the bathroom door. She backed them both into a stall and closed the door. Before she could think about much else, her panties were on the floor and her skirt hiked above her waist.

She propped her feet against the sides of the stall and held to the top of the door to steady herself as he thrust into her again and again. Her head hit the back of the stall and her body soared with the pleasure of it. She'd never been this reckless and it _felt so damn good_ to just let go. She couldn't even remember everything she'd taken at that club, but she felt as if she could fly.

The man was big. So big that she felt as if he was ripping her apart with each thrust, but the pleasure outweighed the pain and the combination was quickly sending her over the edge. She panted and moaned, grasping his backside as he pumped into her fiercely. She'd never experienced sex like this, sex where she literally flew out of her body and landed in a soft heap back into her skin.

As soon as they were finished, she was straightening her clothes out.

"So, if I'm ever in Chicago again - I'll look you up." She stated to him without looking back. Both knew it would never happen. She never got his last name and didn't care to.

Kate wandered from the club that night without even saying goodbye to him, but she wanted it that way. She didn't care. It was the first and only time that Kate Beckett had sex with a stranger.

Later that evening she walked the street in the pouring rain, thunder and lightning crashed around her. The storm outside represented the storm within as Kate Beckett continued to spiral out of control. Nobody seemed to notice the young woman stumbling around alone at night in the rain.

"_You wouldn't believe…the most amazing things can come from some terrible nights…"_


	5. Chapter 5

"_Regrets collect like old friends, here to relive your darkest moments. I can see no way, I can see no way... And all of the ghouls come out to play, and every demon wants his pound of flesh. But I like to keep some things to myself. I like to keep my issues drawn. It's always darkest before the dawn."_

_Shake it Out-Florence & The Machine_

"Yo boss, I think you'll want to check this out."

Kate Beckett took a sip from her coffee mug, using care to not to burn herself with the hot liquid as she approached the boys. She made sure to avoid looking at Castle's chair, which was now situated next to Ryan's desk. The detective knew that the boys weren't comfortable with the change in dynamic, but for her sake they remained quiet.

"What've you got?" She asked Esposito.

"Well, Lanie recovered a half pack of cigarettes in our vic's back pocket and the inside was a match book." He handed the evidence bag to Kate as he continued to describe what they'd discovered.

"They're from The Kitty Cat Club," Kate commented as she recognized the logo.

"That's a low-class strip club down in lower Manhattan, near Alphabet city." Ryan explained to Castle, to update him on the location.

"Oh, I'm familiar with the Kitty Cat Club." He commented.

Kate had to make conscious effort not to smirk at him or tease him. As much as she missed their relationship, missed his touch, she also longed for his friendship again. He was civil enough to her, but things just weren't the same. Still, she would never regret what they had and if she had to do it over again she would. Their intimacy helped her to grow and she was a better person because of him.

"Beckett?" Esposito startled her out of her own thoughts with an expectant look on his face.

She nodded "Ok. Let's go check it out.

* * *

"Never seen her," the manager muttered as he chewed on a tooth pick, toying it with his lips. The club smelled of smoke and alcohol, and he leered at Beckett in a manner that made her sick to her stomach. She looked around at the empty club, watched as employees prepared for the evening's business.

"Why don't you look a little harder?" Kate pushed, standing a little taller in attempt intimidate the man slightly.

"Look, you said she was a kid, right? I run a reputable business here. I'm not interested in no trouble." He eyed Beckett once more, clearly scanning her figure before adding. "But I'd be happy to offer you a job if you're interested."

Kate felt Castle tense next to her and before she could think about it, she shot her hand up to squeeze his elbow. He took the message, calming down and backed up slightly. It was the first physical contact they'd had in weeks, but he seemed to respond. Her stomach filled with butterflies and Kate had to actively suppress the emotion as she leveled the club owner with a stare.

When it was clear that he was giving no information, she handed him her card. "Please call if you remember anything." She didn't have much hope for that, but did notice the looks of interest she got from the club's employees.

In fact, they all seemed interested. Save the bartender, the onlookers were whispering amongst themselves. She made a mental note to get in touch with them when the boss wasn't present.

* * *

After making a stop to pick up lunch, Beckett, Castle and Esposito made their way back to the 12th. When they arrived they found Ryan waiting for them eagerly.

"Guys, there's someone here that you definitely want to talk with." He said, leading them back to an interrogation room. They stepped into the observation room while the detective updated them on their new lead.

"Her name is Amber, she says she works at the Kitty Cat club, and she's eager to unload her burdens." Ryan explained, but she won't talk unless we can guarantee her protection.

"She doesn't look any older than about 16 or 17!" Kate expressed, watching the pale redhead, who was quite similar in appearance to Alexis, through the one-sided mirror.

"She's 17, which is why I've already called social services. I told her protecting her wouldn't be a problem, especially because she was a minor. I also told her she wouldn't get in trouble for having worked there." Kate nodded, patting Ryan on the arm in support for a job well done.

She moved to the interview room and sat across from the young girl.

"Amber?" She began. "My name is Kate, and I understand you have some information for us?"

* * *

Several hours later, Beckett and her team sat across from a social worker. After having spoken with Amber, they were able to identify the victim as 16 year-old Sara Severs. She was a runaway that had been enticed into the world of stripping and more recently, pornography.

Once the social worker had assured her that she would remain in protective custody and not be sent to a home, Amber told her story.

"He told us that we could make 1500 in one night, just by taking our clothes off and letting him take pictures. He promised that nobody would touch us." Amber had told them. She was shaking when she uttered her next words. "He lied."

"Who killed Sara, Amber?" Kate pressed the girl for an answer, her hand resting gently on her arm.

"Sara was going to go first. I wasn't supposed to be there until later, but I came along anyway to see what she would have to do. So that I would be ready, you know?" Amber began.

"But it wasn't just Tony there, his bouncers were there too. They blocked the doors. We thought it was just to keep others out. We didn't realize that it was to keep us in." Amber was shaking.

Once she was naked, he snapped some photos and had the camera on… and everything seemed to be going ok. He was really nice and stuff, but then Butch came over."

"Butch?" Kate questioned, aware that Tony was the club manager, but unsure of who Butch was.

"The bartender." She clarified. "Tony kept the camera rolling, and he kept taking pictures as Butch pushed Sara down on the bed." Amber's voice was shaking as she recalled the horror of the moment.

"She freaked out when she realized what they were doing. She started screaming and she grabbed for a metal beam that was on the floor… it was a construction site, you know?"

Kate nodded and asked again, "Amber, who was it that killed her?"

"I saw him, I saw Butch grab the pole she was holding and hit her with it. Then she just fell, was limp and there was blood. I screamed and ran… the bouncers left the door to help when Sara started to freak out, so I just ran…" Amber explained, tears streaming down her face now.

"They know I was there. He will try to find me." She stated, fear in her voice.

"Amber, it's ok. You're very brave and you're safe now. He's not going to get to you." Kate assured her.

"Were there any other girls?" The social worker interjected to ask. When the girl hesitated, Kate knew that there were.

Amber shrugged. "Not that were working, but he really wanted Mia. Sara and I heard them talking about her, about how much money she would bring in. She's only 13, and I guess people have a thing for that." She wiped her tears as she explained.

"Who is Mia?" Kate asked.

* * *

Hours later, Ryan and Esposito sat at the computer, running missing person's reports to find two young girls.

"We know there were two other girls living with Amber and Sara, and they had a squat in Alphabet City." Castle informed the boys as they waited for the system to process.

"One girl, about age 13, first name Mia." Beckett spoke. "She seemed to be directly targeted by Tony. The second only 10, is named Emmanuella."

Esposito swore under his breath in reaction to the young age of the girls, especially Emmanuella. "Who the hell targets a little kid?" He uttered as he entered the information Beckett provided.

"Well, let's focus on figuring out who they are and finding them so nobody does." She looked at the physical description she'd written down of both girls.

"Well, without last names it could take a while. It's a big city, and if nobody bothered to report them as missing…" Ryan stated.

"Actually," the social worker noted. "If they had any contact with the system then someone would have reported them. It shouldn't be too hard."

"Cross reference the name Mia, with the age and description, and look for reports from foster homes and group homes." Beckett instructed.

Sure enough, within a minute they had a hit. A young girl's photo stared back at them, she was sullen, but beautiful; and there was something eerily familiar about her to Kate. _She almost looks like I did when…_She swallowed, a sense of panic and disbelief crossing her features as she took a step back. _It isn't possible,_ she told herself.

"Beckett, what's wrong?" Ryan spoke. She simply shook her head. "Nothing," she assured them, moving to sit at her desk. She felt numb, and something deep inside already knew what her mind refused to believe. _Mia was hers._

"_And I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope. And I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope. It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat, cause looking for heaven I found a devil in__ me." _


	6. Chapter 6

"_I've been roaming around. Always looking down and all I see, painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you."_

_Use Somebody-Laura Jenson (Kings of Leon Cover) _

"Do you think she's coming back?" Emmanuella asked, her head resting against Mia's arm and her hand clinging to the older girl's elbow.

"Amber?" Mia asked.

Emmanuella nodded, waiting for an answer. "I don't know." Mia admitted.

"If she really saw Sara get killed then I imagine she ran. For her sake, I hope she doesn't come back." The girl added.

"Do you think he'll come looking for us?" Emmanuella asked, fear in her voice.

"I don't think so, little bird. Besides, if he does, I'll handle it." Mia reassured her. Truth be told, she wasn't as confidant as she sounded. She needed to form a plan to keep them safe, but didn't want to scare Emmanuella in the process.

They huddled in the corner of their dark flat, neither eager to go to bed and both hyper-vigilant. Mia knew that it was only a matter of time before their spot would be discovered. They needed to move fast. The question was - where could they go?

"Mia," came Emanuella's sad voice again.

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry." Her voice was weak and it hurt Mia's heart to hear such feeble desperation. Neither had eaten since the bread that morning. The older girl looked out the window into the night. The rain poured on, intermittent rumbles of thunder rolling every couple of minutes.

"Ok, crawl into bed and stay warm. I'll be back soon." Mia didn't like the idea of leaving her shadow, but it was cold and raining, and for the time being nobody knew they were there. At least nobody dangerous knew. Emmanuella was safer staying dry and warm.

So Mia pulled her hoodie over her head, tying it shut to keep in as much warmth as possible, and ventured into the night in search of food.

* * *

"_Someone like you and all you know and how you speak. Countless lovers undercover of the street. You know that I could use somebody. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you."_

"Beckett…Beckett?" Esposito called to her multiple times before she responded.

"Yeah?"

"I asked if you were coming. We're going to go check out the address Amber gave us." Kate nodded, trying to shake of the daze she seemed to be struggling with. It made no sense for her to be so shaken. There was absolutely no evidence to suggest that this girl, that Mia, was the same girl.

_Just because she's the right age, and because there is a physical resemblance…it doesn't mean that… _She couldn't even admit the possibility to herself. She couldn't verbalize the possibility that Mia could be the baby she'd given up. Nobody knew about the child. Her dad didn't even know, and she'd gone to a good home. It just didn't make sense. Yet Kate couldn't stop staring at the photograph of the young girl who looked so much like she did when she was younger.

It wasn't something that the average person would pick up on, only if you'd seen pictures of Kate at that age, or if you knew her when she was a teen. It was perhaps the reason why, much to Beckett's relief - nobody else seemed to notice the resemblance.

"So, are you coming or not?" Esposito pressed again, clearly confused by his boss' strange behavior.

She stood and grabbed her jacket. "Yes, I'm coming."

They had a picture of Mia, but none of Emmanuella. Only a possible link from an old newspaper article.

"Emmanuella Rodriguez, reported missing with her older sister, Marina. Both parents were killed in an explosion several years ago. Marina was arrested for prostitution and drug trafficking about 10 months back, but there was no evidence of the younger girl."

"So," Castle summarized. "We're going to an abandoned building in Alphabet city, looking for a 13 year old with light brown hair and blue eyes, and a 10 year old Hispanic girl?"

"No, we're going to an abandoned building. You're waiting in the car." Beckett clarified.

He gave her an angry stare, causing her to snap. Perhaps it was the emotional distress of the current case, or the possibility of such a long-past part of her life emerging once again, but before she could stop herself, she blurted.

"I'm sorry if that pisses you off, Castle; but I'm not going to lose you any more than I already have."

The boys simply stared as Castle looked at Beckett in shock. He was speechless.

"Come on." She simply stated, wanting to get to lower Manhattan as soon as humanly possible.

* * *

The thing that Mia loved most about Farmer's Markets was that they threw out old produce at the end of the day. She knew when to hit each one, as the life of the products varied. She wasn't surprised, but was very grateful to find old cheese, bread and apples.

She stored as much as she could into the pockets of her hoodie and gradually made her way back home. It was getting late and the driver that let her ride the city bus for free was off duty. By the time she was back in her neighborhood she was soaked and shaking.

She stopped suddenly when she saw the flashing lights. Her stomach felt as if it were filling with concrete, as dread consumed her.

"Cops here. Cops here." Newsman Louie spoke as he rocked rhythmically back and forth from his corner,

"Let me go! Let me go!" He sang in a high-pitched voice, mimicking what he'd heard take place.

She shook as she approached, keeping in the shadows against the walls until she could clearly see Emanuella's outline in the back of a squad car.

_No!_ She panicked, watching as two men got in either side. The engine started and Mia watched helplessly, tears falling as she watched the car reverse. _They got her. I left her alone and they got her._ It was difficult to spot the tears on the girl's face, as the rain continued to pour.

_I'm so sorry, little bird. I'm so sorry. _Mia curled into herself on the dark corner, sobbing for the loss of her one and only friend in the world.

* * *

Kate Beckett paced outside the observation room. They'd only found one of the girls, and they found the one that was in less danger from Tony the club owner. She also happened to be the one who was not possibly her daughter.

"Yo." Esposito leaned into Ryan and Castle. "You ever seen her _this_ keyed up?" He directed their attention to Beckett before adding,

"For a case that didn't involve her mom?" All three men looked on, unsure of what to make of Kate's distressed behavior.

"Whatever happened between you two," Ryan turned to look at Castle. "I know you still care about her, and I know you can see something is wrong."

The writer nodded. _Something was wrong._ The problem was he didn't know what to do about it. He found that he had little to say to Kate. After everything they'd been through. He didn't have a clue, no matter how much he wanted to help her. The truth was he wanted desperately to make it all better for her. He wanted to hold her close and kiss the lines of worry away, to tell her that everything would be ok. However, it wasn't his role anymore. They weren't together anymore and he had to keep his distance, even if he still loved her.

It was the strangest breakup he'd experienced. They didn't scream or fight, they'd simply separated. They'd lost one another. She pulled away and he was unable to push back. When she lost the baby, he'd been devastated. He mourned for the loss of the child they would never have. However, she seemed unfazed by it and it made no sense.

He was filled with disbelief and anger at first. Castle couldn't fathom being with someone who would take such a loss and treat it as if nothing happened. So he distanced himself. By the time he'd gotten over his anger and grief to think clearly enough to realize that _maybe_ she was just coping in a different way, it was too late.

He wasn't sure who was responsible - maybe both of them, but a wall had been erected between them and this time he couldn't bring it down.

His mother asked him why he continued to work at the 12th. They all knew he was no longer shadowing her, or anyone else for that matter. He supposed it was a combination of wanting to bring justice to others, of the meaning and the purpose he found there. Yet he also knew that a large part was his inability to separate and walk away. It was that part of him that was glutton for punishment; that would face the pain every day if it meant seeing her.

Some days he hated it. He hated her and he hated himself. Mostly he hated that they'd lost everything, and that he didn't know how to get them back on the right track. It was messy and it was complicated, but it was them; and it was all that Castle had left.

"Earth to Castle?" Ryan spoke, bringing him out of his own thoughts.

"I'm at a loss guys." He spoke, earning a pair of disappointed stares.

* * *

Emmanuella sat stone-faced, answering no questions.

"Look, I understand that you want to protect your friend, but the fact of the matter is that she's in danger." Esposito spoke with the young girl, Ryan sitting next to him and looking at the young girl sympathetically.

The social worker sat next to her, squeezing Emanuella's shoulder supportively.

"You know, there's someone who has been looking for you." She noted to the young girl, prompting Emmanuella to turn her head.

"Your sister has been living and working in Brooklyn. She's been looking for you for a long time." The social worker informed her. It finally prompted the young girl to speak.

"My sister does drugs."

"That's right. Your sister did drugs." Ryan spoke. "She went to jail about 10 months ago and was sent to rehab. She's clean and has been working a good job….and has been looking for you." The detective continued.

Emmanuella looked from Ryan to the Social worker and back, wanting to believe them but afraid to trust the adults.

Esposito spoke again. "We don't want to hurt Mia, and she isn't in trouble - but it is important that we find her."

"I don't know where she is. She went to get us some food because I was hungry. Then you came." She spoke, not offering any more information.

Castle and Beckett watched silently from the observation room. He watched Kate as much as he did the young girl. Finally unable to ignore her distress, he began to speak. "Kate, what is it?" His voice was soft and tentative. He was offering her an olive branch, and it was up to her to take it.

She turned to him, her eyes wide. "I don't know. I don't…"

The door opened before she could continue, much to Castle's chagrin.

Karpowski stepped in with a box of objects in her arms. "Hey Beckett. This was just delivered to your desk. Officers canvassed the building where the girls were living and found several objects that may shed some light on the case." The curly-haired detective handed Kate the box with a sad expression on her face, the young girl in the interrogation room got to everyone involved with the case. "You might want to check it out."

She smiled to Castle and Beckett before leaving the room again.

Kate placed the box on the table and began to remove the objects, studying them with care.

An old, ratty doll came out first. It wore a knitted sweater and had the name 'Sara' woven into it. Next came a bag filled with old, expired-looking makeup. Followed by tattered magazines, an old photograph featuring a smiling couple with a much younger-looking Amber.

Castle sighed sadly, it was heartbreaking to see how little these girls had, and how cruel the world had been to them. Next they found an old baby blanket, a lunch pail that was filled with half-broken crayons and drawings, a dead ipod with no headphones and a small, empty jewelry box that had a ballerina on top. It looked like it spun and played music at one time, but no longer functioned.

Kate sighed sadly, and was stunned by the squeeze of support she felt from her former partner. She turned to look at him somewhat tentatively, but offered a small smile of thanks. The simple act sent both their hearts into overdrive. Kate needed to break the eye-contact, and used the now half-empty box as an excuse to look away. After several seconds she was able to breathe normally again, but noticed that Castle didn't remove his hand. She didn't want him to.

The bottom of the box was filled with books, old and tattered novels. Castle reached in and read the titles.

"Some of these are really good," he noted, especially intrigued to find a tattered copy of **Casino Royale**. Also in the pile was **The Hobbit, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea **and **The Wizard of Oz**.

"One of our girls is a reader." Castle stated. "I imagine that it's Mia…Amber didn't strike me as a reader -"He stopped suddenly when Beckett spotted something at the bottom of the box, she shoved the remaining books aside and grabbed it as if it provided some long-lost clue. He watched as the color drained from her face, and saw that in her hand was a book with a very familiar cover. It was Castle's very first Derrick Storm novel.

"Hey, that's one of mine!" He noted as he looked at his own image on the back of the book. It was certainly a younger version of him. Kate didn't respond, staring at the book in disbelief and running her hand across the cover. She made a small sound, somewhere between a gasp and a sob.

"Kate?" He asked again.

She opened the book and ran her fingers over the hand-written inscription there, mouthing the words that she read. When she finally looked up at him there were tears in her eyes.

She finally spoke, her voice shallow and trembling. "Oh my God, Castle. It's really her."

"_I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready now._

_Oh, someone like me._

_I've been roaming around; I was looking down at all I see…"_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you for your patience. I figured I would upload this before bed so that fbobs and the rest of my avid readers can enjoy it with their cup of coffee in a few hours :) I plan to update steadily once or twice a week and there is lots more to tell for sure! Take care and review! Thanks again to Bella Paige for the reviews and encouragement. **

* * *

"_She never lets me in  
Only tell me where she's been  
When she's had too much to drink  
I say that I don't care I just run my hands  
Through her dark hair and then I pray to god  
You gotta help me fly away"_

_Let her Cry-Hootie & The Blowfish_

He sat across the booth from her, staring down at the words written on the inside cover of his own book.

_To Kate, You have a beautiful smile. It's a shame you don't use it more. Best wishes, Rick Castle. _

"We've met before." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. She didn't answer, but he didn't give her a chance as he blurted another question. "You had a child?" He spoke next, confusion in his voice. The fact that he really knew nothing about her struck him once again. _Maybe it isn't truly possible to truly know her, _he thought sadly to himself. It left a hollow sense of disappointment within him.

Kate was silent for a moment. She took a sip of her coffee, felt the warm mug with the palms of her hands as if the sensation would ground her and inhaled sharply. Then she began her story.

"It was right after my mom died…"

* * *

_Fall, 1999_

_She sat on her bed, hands cradling her swollen abdomen. Kate had never felt so alone, and so ashamed. It was odd how she could want her mother so desperately, and yet feel relief that she would never have to be so utterly disappointed in her at the same time. Kate Beckett was no angel, but she had never messed up this badly, and she felt as if her life was spiraling out of control. She looked out the window to see snow starting to fall. It was the first snow of the year, and was something that she would have found exciting. That was before the world shattered though. _

_Now it felt cold and barren. It reminded her of everything she'd lost. _

_Kate felt the small life kick within her and rubbed deep circles into the lower left side of her abdomen. She then lifted her hands to begin typing. _

"_**Dear Dad, **_

_** How are you doing? I miss you, but I'm having the time of my life. As I write this letter, I'm sitting at a small café in Kiev. My Russian still needs work, but I'm getting by. I'm trying all sorts of interesting new foods and meeting the greatest people. My host parents are great too! **_

_** I think I might even see some other countries while I'm here in Europe. I hope you are doing well and I miss you! I look forward to seeing you on Christmas when I return home. I also have some news for you. I've decided that after this semester I'm going to transfer to NYU. Being out in the world has changed a lot of things and I have a better idea of what I want for myself. It will also be nicer to be closer to home. I can't wait to tell you all about it! Take care and I'll see you in a few months, **_

_** From Russia with love, Katie. **_

_She sent the e-mail and sighed. She hated lying to her dad, but saw it as the only option. He would never have to know about this. He would never have to know how badly she'd messed things up. As far as the world knew, Kate Beckett was spending the semester abroad. _

_When she learned about the baby she headed for the only person she knew would help her. It was funny how close she and her aunt Vera had become considering she hadn't seen her in years; at least it had been years before the funeral. _

_The old woman was actually her mother's aunt and they were never especially close. She'd lived in Boston and stopped visiting when Kate was about 14, not because of conflict but lack of finances. Now all she could remember was that after her mom died Aunt Vera took Kate in her arms, and it felt like home. _

_So, with her dad drowning in the bottle, and nowhere else to turn __-__ Kate headed to Boston. She showed up at her great aunt's door scared, alone and nearly four months pregnant. The older woman opened her arms once again, welcomed her home and asked no questions. _

_While in Boston Kate spent a lot of time with her Aunt Vera, and the old woman's friends. The fact that they were all Russian worked perfectly, as Kate was able to pick up accents, mannerisms and even a few words. She learned to cook while living there too. _

_In retrospect, the pregnancy helped her to get her life back on track. With the drinking and partying out of her system, she spent time reading and considering what she wanted from her life. She read a lot, and when she was finally ready, she opened the last gift her mother ever gave her. _

_Kate found herself completely immersed in Richard Castle's latest character, Derrick Storm. She related to his single-mindedness and felt kindred with the pain the character seemed to carry. Through the summer months and into the early fall, Kate began to read more and more about crime solving. She found a sense of purpose that English literature never gave her, and found direction for the first time since her mother's death. _

_From her Aunt Vera's living room, Kate read NYU's course catalog, looked over her existing transcripts from Stanford, and mapped out a plan. It was at that small table in Boston, at six months pregnant, that Kate made the decision to switch colleges to switch majors and to take on a new goal for her life. The young woman was going to become a detective. _

_Now she was nearly 36 weeks along, and as she prepared to give birth, she thought about what would come next for her. Kate knew that she was in no position to keep the baby. She was young, alone, had no job or no prospects, and had no idea how to get in touch with the unborn child's father. She doubted Brad, or whatever his name was, would be interested anyhow. It certainly wasn't one of her finest moments. _

_Kate knew that the experience would bring great joy to someone else though. In fact, she'd identified a young couple, unable to have children of their own, and after deliberating for some time, signed the papers necessary to arrange transfer of custody after the infant was born. _

"_I know you'll have a great life, little baby. Much better then I could give you." She softly rubbed circles into her stomach again. The baby kicked in response and Kate turned her attention back to her book. She had nine more chapters left, and was eager to see how Storm was going to get himself out of his current predicament. _

* * *

_Kate went into labor on November 12__th__, 1999. Just a week shy of her 20__th__ birthday. After fourteen hours of intense labor, she gave birth to a baby girl. She didn't get to hold the baby before they took her, and Aunt Vera insisted that it was in everyone's best interest._

_The old woman believed it would be much harder on Kate if she bonded with her, but Kate couldn't help but think that she'd spent the past 9 months bonding with the child she would never know. _

_Her Aunt Vera held her as she cried, rocking her back and forth and whispering calming words of love against her brow. _

"_I know. I know my Katie. You've done a wonderful thing." The older woman soothed her with her broken English._

"_You've given this baby a chance for a great life, and you have given her parents a precious gift." _

_Kate nodded, but soon was sobbing again. Knowing she'd done a good thing didn't stop her heart from breaking. She never even got to hold her. That was when Kate learned that sometimes the right thing was the hardest to do. _

_A few weeks later Kate returned to Manhattan. She registered at NYU and began her new major in criminology. It was her senior year, but she had to spend an extra semester catching up on coursework. In the end it had been worth it, because when she finished her degree she was certain of her path. _

_She joined the academy and never looked back, knowing that a closed adoption had been the best thing for all concerned. As far as she knew, both Kate and her little girl had been given a fresh chance at life. _

* * *

When she finished telling her story she looked up at Castle, who simply stared at her, a watery look of love, sympathy and understanding in his eyes.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Castle." She explained, her voice weak with guilt and regret. For the first time the author had no words. He simply squeezed her hand.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He suggested, wondering if she'd be more comfortable talking about this somewhere more private.

She nodded and gave his hand a thankful squeeze in return. He walked her home, allowing her the space she needed to process everything that was happening. It was the first time in weeks that he'd been in her apartment, but she didn't seem to care. In fact, Kate seemed relieved to have him by her side again.

She simply sat on the couch, continuing to look numb. "I thought I was protecting her, and in the end I only hurt her. Look what's happened?" She closed her eyes in a feeble attempt to keep the tears back. When she'd signed the adoption papers all those years ago, Kate had terminated all parental rights. As such, she had no way to know what went wrong. She couldn't understand how her baby had gone from a middle class couple, desperate for a family, to the cold streets of New York City.

"Was it a closed adoption?" Castle questioned, as if reading Kate's mind. She nodded affirmatively, confirming that she'd had absolutely no contact or information about the baby she'd given up in the misguided hope of a better future for them both.

Kate could feel the tears surging once again. "I did it again, I did it again and didn't even know it." She stood suddenly and began to pace the room, distancing herself from Castle.

"You did what?" He asked in confusion. Certainly she couldn't blame herself for what happened.

Kate paused for a moment and "I hurt my child. I didn't mean to and…" She broke then, unable to hold herself together. "Another life destroyed." Had he not moved closer, Castle would have missed her whispered. "Because of me."

He realized at that moment that Kate wasn't just talking about Mia. He finally understood what Kate was truly grappling with and was helpless to stop it. He simply moved next to where she stood in front of her window, relieved that she went willingly as he took her in his arms.

"Shhhhh, Kate." He kissed her brow and rubbed her back, soothing her trembling body.

"None of this is your fault." He held her more tightly as he added. "And none of _that_ was your fault." He whispered, speaking now of their own lost child. Soon he was in tears as well, and together they processed all that had been lost.

With their embrace and with their tears, it appeared that the wall between them wasn't nearly as massive as it had once been. Castle swore he could see a way through to the other side now.

After Kate's sobs subsided, Castle pulled back. He took her face in his palms, brushing his thumbs across her face to wipe the tears there away,

"We're going to find her, Kate. We'll find her together." He promised.

She nodded before leaning back into the safety and love of his embrace. No other words were spoken between them that night, but their gazes and gestures spoke volumes about forgiveness, understanding, loyalty and love.

_"Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain  
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain  
Let her go...let her walk right out on me  
And if the sun comes up tomorrow  
Let her be...let her be." _


	8. Chapter 8

"_And if the darkness is to keep us apart. And if the daylight feels like its' a long way off. And if your glass heart should crack. For a second you turn back. Oh no, be strong. _

_Walk on .. What you've got, they can't steal it. No they can't even feel it. Walk on. Stay Safe Tonight."_

_All That you can't Leave Behind (Walk On)- U2_

Despite having been instructed to go home by Captain Gates, Kate was back up and at the precinct by 4am. It was at Castle's urging that she wait until 6 to call the boys in. She passed the time by looking back through the box that had been given to her, the box containing the girls' possessions.

"I've got to talk to Emmanuella," Kate spoke out loud, as much to herself as to Castle.

They'd shared a moment the night before and although they certainly weren't back together, they were on better ground now. _Are we back together?_ Kate wondered to herself. She'd fallen asleep in his arms the night before, but they hadn't declared their intentions. They certainly hadn't had sex. Regardless, she was glad they were feeling more at ease with one another again. _Baby steps Kate, baby steps_, the detective thought to herself.

"You think Emmanuella will have some insight into where Mia might have gone?" Castle questioned her, placing random objects back into the box carefully.

"I think that nobody knows Mia as well as Emmanuella does. If anyone can shed some light, it would be her." Kate paused for a moment before admitting. "And it's all I've got to go on." The last statement was weak and desperate, reflecting all the guilt and vulnerability Beckett felt over what was happening.

He squeezed her arm again. "I think it's a great place to start."

* * *

"Hi, Emanuella. Thank you for coming to speak with us again." Kate spoke kindly to the young girl, who now sat with her sister and a social worker.

"It's ok, but I already told you that I don't know where Mia is." Emmanuella insisted her ignorance as she played absentmindedly with a strand of her hair.

"Hi, my name is Rick Castle, and I often help out Detective Beckett on cases such as these -"

"Wait, You're Richard Castle? The novelist?" Emmanuella cut him off with newfound excitement.

"That's right." Castle confirmed.

"You know that Mia loves your books." Emmanuella paused for a moment of hesitation before adding. "She's been looking for you for a long time." The young girl leveled him with a serious stare.

"She's been looking for me?" Castle asked, somewhat confused by the girls admission. "Why me?"

"Because you are the only tie she has to her real mom," Emmanuella explained. "She has a book of yours, and you signed it to her mom. It's the only thing that matters to her. She said she's tried to meet you a couple of times, but she could never get through."

Castle suddenly felt a sense of guilt as well. _What if she'd been able to see me? Could I have helped her find her mother before any of this had to happen? Could I have prevented her from seeing the things she's seen or experiencing all that she has?_

As if reading his mind, Kate gave a soothing rub to Castle's back, discretely enough to not draw attention to the public display of affection. She took control of the conversation once again.

"Emmanuella, we know who Mia's mother is. We really need to find Mia so that she isn't in any danger. I promise you that she isn't in trouble and that I'll take good care of her."

"We'll take good care of her." Castle added.

At first Kate was slightly put off by his imposition, but she soon realized that she liked the thought of them doing this together. It wasn't long after that reality struck her that she realized that she simply didn't want to do it without him.

Emmanuella seemed to calm once she'd been reassured that Richard Castle - the man Mia had been so desperate to meet - was going to be personally involved.

"When Mia doesn't have anywhere to go, she goes to the New York Public Library." Emmanuella looked from the detective to the writer. "She doesn't like cops. She doesn't trust them. When you've been on the streets as long as we have, you learn who you can and can't trust." Beckett nodded slowly, attempting to process the information, but Emmanuella grew impatient.

"If she sees you and she knows you're a cop, she'll run." The young girl clarified.

"What if I approach her? She's been looking for a chance to meet me, right?" Castle suggested.

Emmanuella nodded. "If you promise you're not going to put her back in a home or anything…" She waited to share her final piece of information until the detective agreed.

"I promise you that I will do everything in my power to see that Mia stays with her mother. That she never has to leave her again," Kate offered sincerely, an edge of emotion in her voice.

The young girl accepted Kate's words. "Mia likes to hang out in the classic English Literature section. It's on the 4th floor, left of the elevators and all the way to the end of the bookshelves." She supplied.

Castle nodded. "I know exactly where that is," he spoke confidently.

* * *

"_You're packing a suitcase for a place that none of us has been._

_A place that has to be believed to be seen._

_You could have flown away, a singing bird in an open cage who will only fly, only fly for freedom."_

It was her favorite spot of the library. Few people bothered her here. Plus, on really cold and wet days like today - she could sit on top of the vent to heat and dry herself. She was shaking, chilled to the bone. Usually, Mia would avoid being so exposed to the elements, but losing Emmanuella had been too much. It was hours before she could pull herself together enough to get out of the cold.

She got on the train with enough time to warm up slightly before the library opened that morning. Mia found that the literature section did little to ease the ache she felt inside. She wasn't certain how much of that pain was from Emmanuella and how much was from physical hunger. She looked to the clock on the wall. It was nearly 10am, which marked close to 24 hours since she'd eaten.

Mia dug into her faded sweater to see if any of the goods from the produce garbage was still any good. She found a browning apple and some cheese that looked suspicious. Taking out her pocket knife and shaving off the bad parts, she contented herself to eat as much as she could.

She watched suspiciously as a tall man approached. He was alone, and was wearing baseball cap. She got the distinct impression that he didn't want to be recognized either. She continued to watch him as he checked out several books in the area. Mia tensed and reached into her sweater, hand gripping her knife as he came closer.

"I never really got Jane Austin," the man spoke.

She looked around to see if he was talking to anyone else, but he couldn't have been. There was nobody else around.

"I mean, I understand that she was accomplished and I know that ladies love her, but I never really got it." He spoke again.

Mia was sitting over a vent on the floor, back against a wall. There was very little she could do to escape this man. At least there was little she could do that didn't involve a blade. She was unsure what his angle was, but replied to his statement. "I suppose if my biggest problem was finding a husband, I'd have more use for her books."

The man smirked and looked at Mia directly for the first time. He seemed to look at her as if he knew her. "So, what types of books usually call to you?" He questioned.

"Adventure, fantasy, mystery…crime." Mia offered, starting to plan an escape route in case the man got any closer. She played it cool, but her brain was evaluating all potential escape routes. _Afterall, what the hell was a grown man doing making conversation with a 13 year old girl? _All sorts of scenarios crossed Mia's mind, and in none of them were his intentions pure.

"Look…" Mia began, squeezing the knife harder in case she needed to use it.

The man spoke again. "Mystery and Crime is my cup of tea as well, and I'm not just saying it because I'm a crime novelist."

Mia's interest was piqued. "You're a novelist?" She couldn't help but want to know more. It wasn't everyday that she got to interact with professional writers. She wondered if she'd recognize him, but she still hadn't gotten a good look at his face and he was wearing shades. _Who wears shades inside_? She wondered to herself.

"I am. I've written almost 30 novels, and my most recent series is being made into a movie. Derrick Storm has a graphic novel as well, if I'm not mistaken." Castle casually dropped the name into the conversation, knowing that she would know of it. Afterall, Mia owned Storm Warning.

"Derrick Storm?" Her head shot up and she looked at him, truly looked at him. Bringing her hands to her knees, she pushed herself up off the floor. "You wrote the Derrick Storm novels?" She clarified, her brain piecing together what that meant.

He nodded, waiting for her to make the next move. Castle sighed with relief, as it was apparent that she wasn't going to bolt. "So, you're Richard Castle?" Mia asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

"In the flesh," he responded, removing his sunglasses and hat.

Mia's face lit up as she recognized the author for herself. "Wow." She muttered. "Wow, I know this sounds strange, but I've been looking for you. I've been trying to talk to you for so long." A tinge of desperation clung to her voice.

"I know, Mia." Castle answered her, causing the girl's eyes to widen. She took a step back, looking around once again. _Is this a trap? _She wondered frantically.

"How…How do you know my name?" Mia asked, preparing herself to dive past him and run. It didn't matter how badly she wanted to meet him, if he was here to trap her she would have to run.

Castle took another step back, as if to communicate to Mia that she was safe. He reached into his jacket and produced a familiar book. It was Mia's copy of Storm Warning.

"Where did you get that?" She asked, unable to keep the tremor from her voice. It was the one object that had meaning for her. Castle simply handed it to her, waiting for her to take the book.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Mia, and you're not in any kind of trouble. It's just that I work with the police, and we found your things." At the word 'police' Mia felt desperate enough to actually consider climbing the bookshelves.

Upon seeing the panic on her face, Castle put his hands up. "Mia, I'm not here to make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm here because the man who killed Sara may come after you and I want to be sure you're safe…" Castle hesitated for a moment before adding. "And Mia, I know who your mother is."

Mia's eyes went wide as saucers. She stared at him in disbelief, unable to formulate words.

Castle smiled softly at her, understanding how much the girl was taking in. "Her name is Kate and she is my partner. She found and recognized the book before I did. She saw a picture of you and just knew. She wants to meet you so badly." Castle put it all on the line, hoping that the girl would find enough trust within herself to follow him.

Castle put his hand out, extending himself for Mia. "Please, I know you don't trust anyone. I know that nobody has given you reason to do so, but I'm asking you to trust me."

It was finally here, a chance to learn about her mom. Billionaire Author Richard Castle had his hand opened for her to take. Finally, an adult promising her answers and treating her with respect. Her eyes nearly watered as she felt a longing she'd long ago suppressed, a longing to depend on someone else.

She nodded, took a deep breath, and took the man's hand.

"_Home… Hard to know what it is if you've never had one._

_Home… I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going Home._

_It's where the heart is. I know it aches, and your heart it breaks._

_You can only take so much._

_Walk on…"_


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy Monday Castle-lovers. Here is another weekly update on my story. I will not lie, the next few weeks are going to be trying in a way I've never experienced. I believe I'll make it out the other side but in the mean time, as Dory would say "Just keep swimming"... I shall swim along and try my best to continue updating. This story brings me joy, so it doesn't take much to make me want to write it :) Thank you for your patience! Thank you Bella Paige for everything!**

**On another note, I have to give props to AliciaB and her story "Where is She", it is one of the most powerful things I've read and it is inspiring me with the truth of emotional depth. Angsty, but very worth it. You can find her on my profile, she's listed as a favorite. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own them. **

* * *

"_I see them gathered, see them on the shore. I turned to look once more, and he who knows me not takes me to the belly of darkness. The tears run swift and hard, and when they fall…Even the comfort of a stone would be a gain. _

_There was a time when I thought I would have to give up. But I'm thankful that I'm__ s__trong as I am and I'll__ t__ry to do the best I can. _

_Tears will run swift, and tears will come that fall like rain. I pray that it's swift though tears will fall as cold as pain._

_I pray to the almighty, let me not to him do as he has unto me. __  
__Teach my beloved children who have been enslaved to reach for the light continually __So many times I prayed__  
__So many times I've prayed for you__  
__Prayed for you…" _

_Sade-Slave Song _

* * *

When Castle led Mia from the library he'd informed the teen that her mother was a detective. It was a shock to say the least, and very ironic for her. She'd spent so much time evading the cops, in the hope that freedom would allow her to find the woman who now stood in front of her. And in the end - she had had been a cop.

"That's just ironic," Mia stated while they rode together toward the precinct.

"Good job with the proper use of Irony," Castle offered in some attempt to take any awkwardness out of the conversation.

Mia cocked her head to the side and studied him for a moment before adding. "Hey, I'm homeless -not ignorant." She smirked so that he would know she was joking.

"You're not homeless anymore." He shot back before thinking better of it.

Mia huffed at him. "Don't make promises you can't keep." She'd deadpanned.

They were fairly quiet the remainder of the drive, and Mia found herself unable to speak as they entered the 12th.

* * *

Kate Beckett paced the floor of the 12th precinct, looking at her watch every couple of minutes. She knew that they would be arriving any time now. She sat at her desk to look over the file once more, to look at the record of her daughter's life. It crushed her to read about all the young girl had lived through, all she had survived.

Kate knew in that moment that she would have given anything to change it, to go back and never let the child go. Yet Kate also understood that such thoughts and regrets would do no good. It appeared that Mia was indeed very happy in her early childhood. Her parents loved her fiercely and they were a happy family.

Because it had been a closed adoption, Kate always assumed that her little girl was living in Boston, and had no idea that her child had been living in the same city for the past 5 years. Nobody informed Kate on the fateful night when Mia's adoptive parents were killed, and nobody had reason to. Kate had terminated her parental rights thirteen years ago.

She ran her fingers across the picture of the young girl, who resembled her so very much. Save a wider nose and blue eyes, she could have been Kate. _I promise you that I'll die before anyone hurts you again, Mia._ Kate swore silently as she studied the only photograph she had of her little girl.

She looked up from the photograph to the clock on the wall once again. Less than one minute had passed. The detective once again second-guessed her decision to allow Castle to go in by himself.

"_Kate, if Mia has been looking to meet me, don't you think she'd be less likely to run if I approached her?" She eyed him wearily._

He had a point. Still, this was their first real shot at finding the girl and Kate Beckett rarely allowed others to do what she could accomplish herself. Yet, she had to admit that this time she didn't have the upper hand. She had to trust in Castle's abilities and instincts. She had to give up control, and that was not an easy task.

Unable to remain still for much longer, Kate rose from her desk and headed to the break room for a cup of coffee. She decided to go for decaf as she prepared the espresso machine. The simple task helped to put her at ease, giving her something else to focus on.

Kate poured the steaming liquid into her mug, adding in the frothy substance and allowing the two to mix. She didn't have Castle's skills when it came to cappuccino foam or latte designs, but it tasted smooth just the same. She smelled the rich aroma before she took a sip, allowing the hot liquid to help calm her nerves.

She heard the elevator, followed by the murmur of voices. Taking a breath, Kate readied herself and raised her eyes, her breath catching as she gazed upon her daughter for the first time.

Kate wasn't sure what she expected, but Mia surpassed anything she could have dreamed of. She was weathered yet beautiful; confidant and yet vulnerable at the same time. In Mia, Kate saw all the contradictions that existed within herself.

She was overwhelmed, filled with the desire to pull the girl close and run at the same time. The whirlwind of emotions, love, guilt, compassion, protectiveness, fear and awe all mixed together nearly knocked Kate off her feet. She felt a wave of fear the settled into her stomach like cold, heavy concrete and her throat was dry.

In the next moment their eyes met, and for the first time Kate Beckett felt that she'd been struck by lightning. She simply stood as they approached, unable to move and unable to speak for a moment.

As the young girl gazed upon her, wide-eyed disbelief on her face, Kate tried to find words. It was the feeling of Castle's hand on her lower back that grounded her in spite of her light-headedness.

"Kate, this is Mia." He spoke softly.

"She's been looking for you," his second statement could have referred to both of them. Mia cocked her head and bit her lip. The gesture seemed oddly familiar to Kate and it drove home once again the reality of the situation.

They were quiet for a moment and Kate, not aware of her own actions, reached out to stroke Mia's hair. It was as if she was testing to be sure the girl was real.

"I never imagined this moment would come." Kate finally whispered, her voice quivered slightly as the awe of the moment set in. "I never thought I would see you." The detective clarified. "And now you're here."

Mia's brow furrowed. "Is that a good thing?" she finally spoke, her voice just above a scared whisper.

The usually confidant and self-assured teen was timid. At her question Kate finally broke. Unable to speak anymore she nodded. Kate's vision blurred as she pulled Mia into her embrace. She inhaled the young girl's scent, committing it to memory.

"Baby, I didn't know." Kate whispered into the girl's hair, her tears falling to her daughter's scalp. The angst, regret, fear and guilt was evident in her words.

The emotion in Kate's voice took Castle aback for a moment. He was awed to observe the way the two held one another, clinging as if their lives depended on it.

"I'm so sorry, Mia. I'm so sorry." Kate whispered against the girl's brow. Mia simply clung harder, not quite believing that the moment was real.

Beckett pulled back, allowing Mia to see her tear-filled eyes. The detective's cheeks were drenched and she simply brushed the sandy hair behind Mia's ears. "I didn't know about your parents, I didn't know anything was wrong. I didn't know how to find you," she pleaded with her daughter to understand.

Mia intertwined her fingers with Kate's and studied them with interest. They were smaller, but similar in shape and skin-tone. The teen was still unable to speak, completely overcome by a moment she'd nearly given up on experiencing.

Kate cradled the young girl's cheek and waited for her to speak, gazing at her with an intensity and desperation that she'd never experienced. It was as if the detective was afraid Mia would disappear if she looked away.

"It's really you." Mia finally stated, allowing herself to absorb the moment. She'd found her mother.

Kate sobbed then, pulling the girl close once again and holding her securely. They remained like that for some time. Mia found that once she had her mother, she didn't want to let her go. It was strange, and she continuously pulled back to stare at her; to memorize her face.

Her mother was stunning. She was simply beautiful and her eyes, which seemed to alternate between green and brown, were incredibly expressive. Mia thought she would never tire of looking at the woman who held her.

It wasn't until the man standing beside them cleared his throat that they remembered they weren't alone. He smiled, a wondrous look on his face.

"I'm afraid you'll have an audience if you remain here much longer." Castle stated, wanting to ensure that their privacy was maintained. Afterall, news that Kate Beckett had a daughter was bound to spread like wildfire.

"Castle, I'm going to go update Gates on our witness here." She caressed Mia's cheek once again as she paused, "Then, if it is ok, I'd like to take you home, Mia. We have a lot of catching up to do." She smiled at her daughter again, pulling her in for another hug.

Kate found it strange. Now that she'd held Mia in her arms she couldn't seem to let go. She didn't want to let go. She wanted to know everything about her, wanted to tell her so much, teach her so much.

With a sigh she spoke to her daughter again. "How about some hot chocolate?" Kate offered, silently asking Castle to keep the teen occupied as she went to fill Gates in on what would be a very long story.

"I prefer coffee." Mia stated, earning a pair of raised brows from both Castle and Beckett.

"I'll do decaf." She threw in to appease the adults. She could tell they weren't too concerned or upset, as the grins they tried to suppress gave them away.

"Castle makes the best lattes and cappuccinos." Kate offered.

"She IS your daughter." Castle quipped with a wide grin on his face.

Beckett simply rolled her eyes, although she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. "I'll be back in just a few minutes, ok Mia?"

The girl nodded and smiled, seating herself at the table to watch as Castle went to work at the espresso machine.

* * *

"Wow." Gates spoke, shock evident on her face after Kate had disclosed the true nature of her relationship to the girl down the hall.

"Yeah," Kate agreed, completely aware of the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that accompanied such news.

"I'm speechless." Gates stated, a look of pure amazement on her face. "So, what does this mean?" The captain questioned her best detective. "For the case, as well as for you?" she clarified. It was clear that the older woman was concerned for her best detective.

Kate looked down for a moment to gather her thoughts. "Sir, I'm not sure about much of anything yet. I want to talk with Mia to get an idea of what it is she wants. I need to talk with social services about what options are available." She hesitated, but continued. "I have no legal rights to Mia, Sir. My parental rights were terminated minutes after she was born." Kate's voice began to fill with a note of desperation as she continued. "I have no legal claim to her, but I will not let anyone take her or hurt her. She's potentially in danger until Sara's killer is behind bars."

Gates understood Kate's situation. "Well, for now she's a witness in this case and social services would be required to place her in some sort of protective custody, correct?"

"Yes, sir." Kate agreed. Afraid of what her captain might suggest. Kate knew she would die before she let anyone but her take Mia home.

"I don't see any reason why you can't serve that role. Given that you're the lead investigator in this case, it makes sense." Gates smiled conspiratorially at Beckett. "Let's get social services on the line and I'll take care of it."

Kate smiled gratefully at her boss.

As the older woman dialed she added. "And Kate, we will handle the legal matters as they arise. Your dad can provide you with professional advice, I'm sure."

That is when the thought struck Kate.

_Oh God. My dad. _

* * *

"_But I'm thankful that I'm__ s__trong as I am and I'll_

_Try to do the best I can. _

_Wisdom is the flame. Wisdom is the brave warrior__  
__who will carry us into the sun. I pray that it's swift though,__  
__Tears will come that fall like rain._

_I pray to the almighty, let me not to him do as he has unto me. __  
__Teach my beloved children I have been enslaved but reach for the light continually." _

* * *

**Author's note: I do wish we could include photographs in text. Can we do that? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Greetings once again. I imagine you'll want to start from the beginning of this story. I apologize for the lack of updates. I've ended a relationship (a good thing) and moved across the country for a new job. Settling in has been an adventure. Add to that my computer registry problems and the result has been that I have had no access to write! I finally have a new computer and regular internet access again. Thank you for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy. Excuse any errors as my lovely beta has not had the opportunity to review this. **

**Story Plot Review: **

*** A young homeless girl named Sara was murdered and three other runaway teens are in danger. One teen, Mia, seems to be the next target of the men who killed Sara. Mia has a very close connection with Kate. **

******* Although Rick and Kate were together, they separated after she miscarried due to an injury on the job. They are slowly working through their grief and are finding their way back to each other. **

***We learned that after her mom died, Kate became pregnant after a drug-induced one night stand with a stranger named Brad. She gave the infant up for adoption while all her friends and family believed she was studying abroad in Kiev. **

*** Mia has been in and out of foster care since losing her adopted parents in a car accident. She ran away from a group home and took a younger fellow homeless teen Emmanuella, under her wing. She has been ****searching for her mother using the only link she has to her- a copy of an old book that was signed "To Kate" by the Author Richard Castle.**

*** After finding Mia's things in an abandoned building in Alphabet City, Kate is convinced that the girl is the daughter she gave up long ago and she is determined to find and protect her. She confesses this to Castle and although they are not back together, he vows to help her find Mia. Using knowledge that Mia has been seeking him out, Castle is able to draw the teen out of hiding and reunites mother and daughter again.**

* * *

"This is home." Castle offered cheerfully as he unlocked the front door to his loft. After discussing with Beckett and Gates, it was decided that while Mia would be more at home with Kate. It would be safer for all involved if the detective and her new-found daughter stayed at the loft.

"I understand that you would rather have Mia at home with you, Beckett. However, until Sara's killer is behind bars, it just makes more sense for her to stay in a secure building." Gates insisted.

Kate was not happy, but understood the benefit of staying at the loft. She also had to admit to herself that she had missed what came to be her home over the past months. Kate missed the sights and the smells. She longed for how safe and welcome she felt, as if she was part of a family._ His_ family.

"Beckett?" Castle startled her out of her thoughts, causing her to blush slightly.

"Yeah." She smiled at Mia, "You'll be safe here."

The teen simply studied her mother with interest, curious to know more about the relationship that the detective had with Castle. She smiled, making a mental note to press one or both of them for details later.

"Your room is at the top of the stairs and you should have everything you need." Castle began, leading Mia through the loft.

The young girl nodded, taking in the décor of Castle's home. She couldn't recall having been in such a nice place. It had a very cozy feeling that put Mia at rest, made her feel secure.

"If there is anything else just ask. I'm sure we can get it for you." He added.

Castle and Beckett escorted Mia to her room, the single spare in the loft.

"My mother is out for the evening and my daughter is a college student-she lives on campus." Castle spoke softly before adding, "I'm sure you'll be meeting both of them soon."

Mia smiled, interested at the prospect of learning more about the famous author, but was more eager to spend time with her mother. She looked to the detective, who was standing quietly behind the author in the doorway.

"I'll help you settle inn." Kate spoke softly as she passed her partner and sat quietly on what was now Mia's bed. Castle smiled softly at the pair and left them to talk.

"So." Kate began, not really sure where to start.

"This is some place he's got here." Mia volunteered, trying to get a conversation going.

"Yeah. Castle likes to go big. He's pretty elaborate, but can surprise you with how down to earth he can be at times." Kate smiled to herself as she spoke, thinking about the enigma that was Richard Castle.

"It is a little hard to take in. I mean, this morning I was homeless and hiding out in the public library. Now I'm sitting on what might just be the most comfortable mattress I've ever felt." Mia squeezed the side of her bed and continued to speak. "My mother is with me, and we're at Richard Castle's house." The teen was overwhelmed by the changes the day had brought.

"Yeah. It is a lot to take in." Kate agreed with the teen. She took the young girl's hand and squeezed it, "but I'm so very glad you are here." Mia smiled, allowing herself to be pulled into Kate's arms once again.

"I've got so many questions. I don't even know where to start." The teen admitted.

"How about we get some sleep tonight. We can start fresh tomorrow morning and spend the day getting to know one another." Kate could see how warn out her daughter was getting and wanted to give her permission to let her guard down and rest.

Mia nodded, stood to pull the sheets back and paused. "Um…I don't have any…" She motioned to herself. She only had the outfit she wore.

"Of course!" Kate understood. "I'll be right back. I'll bet Alexis has something here that will fit."

A few minutes later Kate returned and the author was with her. He smiled softly at Mia and handed her a nightgown. "There are towels in the bathroom and everything else you might need to get ready for bed, including a spare toothbrush in the middle drawer." He hesitated for a moment and looked to Kate, but decided to speak anyhow. "If you're up for it, tomorrow I'll take you shopping so you can get some of your own things."

Mia smiled, unsure how to respond. Nobody had ever offered her a shopping spree before. If she'd come to her previous foster parents without night clothes they would make her sleep in nothing. It made her slightly uncomfortable to accept his offer.

As if reading her mind Kate reached out to squeeze her arm. "I think that would be a great idea. Castle once helped me when all my clothes burned up in an explosion." She offered the information to her daughter.

Castle smiled to Beckett, letting slide that the only "helping" she allowed after her apartment was blown up was a Macy's gift card that he _swore _someone had given him and insisted that he'd never use.

Mia nodded at the pair, smiling gratefully to Castle. "Thank you for everything. It's been a while since anyone really cared that much." She admitted.

Kate swallowed back the lump in her throat and nodded. "Well, you're not alone anymore." She held back her emotions and gave Mia another squeeze.

"Sleep well, Mia. You're safe here and I will be here in the morning." Mia nodded.

"Goodnight." She spoke to both adults before taking the nightgown and heading to the bathroom.

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Kate had no idea what time it was by the time they made it downstairs, but she felt the exhaustion in her bones. It was clear that she wasn't hiding her current state very well if Castle's expression was any indicator. He reached up to squeeze her arm.

"How are you holding up?" He questioned.

She gave a wry smile. "It's all a bit overwhelming." She looked down at the floor, unable to maintain eye contact as she was besieged by her thoughts.

Castle maintained contact with her by rubbing her arm slowly and soothingly. He said nothing, waiting for her to speak again. He'd learned a long time ago that letting Kate take the lead when she needed to talk was the best approach. She would decide when she was ready to talk. Sure enough, soon she did.

"I just don't know…I didn't know…" She struggled to find her words.

"How could I have let this happen?" Kate finally expressed.

Castle pulled her to him, rubbing soothing circles along her back. "You did not _let_ anything happen, Kate." He spoke as he lined her brow with soothing kisses.

"This is not your fault." Castle insisted, "You found Mia, you opened your arms to her, and now she is upstairs. She is safe and warm and she'll never be alone again."

"You can't know that." Kate spoke, her voice shaking with tears.

"Yes, Kate. I can." He insisted. "Even if something happened to you, she would have me." Kate pulled back to look into his eyes as he spoke.

"and if something happened to both of us, she would have mother, Alexis and Jim; not to mention the boys and Lanie." She stared at him meaningfully, unsure of how to respond.

"Kate, you are family. You will always be family and I will always be here for you." She was quiet, lost once again in his blue eyes.

"I love you." She said it before she could think about it, before she could filter it.

Castle reached up to caress her cheek. It was a loving and intimate gesture and it nearly broke her. She felt as if she'd been wandering in the desert and he was water. She was desperate for his touch, had been for such a long time. She leaned into his touch, bringing her hand up to lace her fingers with his against her cheek.

Kate closed her eyes and released a sigh. She felt his hand move to the back of her neck and smiled softly as his lips touched her own. _Finally, _she thought to herself. After such a long time, Kate Beckett finally felt home again.


End file.
